How much i loved my brother, and it felt that we were just getting to know each other, and become friends again (6 year age gap). Finding things in common, songs, coffee, cars, colors, so much that has shaped who i am now. Bon Jovi, black coffee, fast cars, blue, so much to just cling to his memory and of course "hang ten" underarm always makes me think of him.
I can't forget, but also nor do i want to remember the day the phone call came, the tears. How do you stop hearing the words "he is dead", stop seeing him with all the blood, his nose, and ears. The cold life less man, to the tall, big protective man he was just a few hours ago. How did it all disappear in a few hours, why couldn't i know it was the last day, week, or weekend together, so i could treasure each laugh, capture each memory and say what we meant to each other. Why can't he be here now to see my baby girls, be here to help with mom and dad, and just be my friend no matter what. Sometimes all you want and need is family and now he is gone.
I miss him day and night, every memory and occasion he is not part of, i think of him and of that terrible day.
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